You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
