we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
