I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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