If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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