I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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