i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.