Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
