she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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