As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
