So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
