I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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