She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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