Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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