so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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