Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
