When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize