Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
