Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize