If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
