I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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