I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there was a trapeze. enough said
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
