i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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