I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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