Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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