My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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