i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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