I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
