you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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