I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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