The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
