So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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