Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
