im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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