I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize