she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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