When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
