well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
