he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
