Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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