Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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