WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
