Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Randomize
