69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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