On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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