you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.