Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?