Can Purell be used as lube?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
