so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His hands were made for my vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love you. Go after that dick
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
