dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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