i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I wear drunk well.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize