She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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