laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
