you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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