Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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