Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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