Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
