im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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