I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
