Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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