Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
