walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
