And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
