Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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