I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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