Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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